The Pokemon Christmas Play
by Sabertooth Kitty
Summary: Ever read the Crhistmas story in the Bible? Here it is, with the Legendary Pokemon and some humor on the side!


THE FIRST POKEMON CHRISTMAS  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
I don't own Pokemon or the Nativity Story.  
Rated G  
And now, some Dragnet talk (don't own that, either):  
"The story you are about to read is true. The names were changed for pure fun."  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(Ash and Pikachu appear stage left)  
  
ASH: Hi, everyone! Well, Christmas is on it's way, so let's tell the story of the big man himself-  
  
PIKACHU: Santa Claus!  
  
ASH: Well, of course, Pikachu! Who else could have started Christmas?  
  
VOICE: I know someone else!  
  
(Brilliant Thinker appears stage right)  
  
ASH: Not you again!  
  
PIKACHU: What's the matter NOW, BT?  
  
BT: Well...(sighs)...I don't believe that it was Santa that started Christmas.  
  
(Ash, Pikachu, and audience gasp)  
  
PIKACHU: Then, who DID, Miss Smarty-Pants?  
  
BT: ..........Um, Jesus?  
  
(audience whispers amoung themselves)  
  
ASH: Well, we don't know His story-  
  
BT: -but I do!  
  
PIKACHU: NO! NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! I saw "Outlet"! Think about what she'll do to-  
  
ASH: (covers Pikachu's mouth) This is your last chance, BT, so try and do a good job. (walks offstage left with a muffledly screaming Pikachu)  
  
BT: Don't worry, Ash! I won't let you down! Now, where was I-  
  
MEWTWO: (runs onstage right) BT! BT!  
  
BT: Mewtwo! What's going on?  
  
MEWTWO: Remember the check that you sent in for the costumes, sets, lights, and stuff?  
  
BT: Yeah, what about it?  
  
MEWTWO: It bounced.  
  
BT: Oh boy...............that can't be good.  
  
MEWTWO: We're trying to get a hold of it now.  
  
(check bounces across the stage, followed closly by Mew and Celebi)  
  
BT: ............................O........K?  
  
MEWTWO: That means that we're on a limited budget.  
  
BT: You mean like last time?  
  
MEWTWO: Yes. I don't believe that the cardboard cut-outs helped us any.  
  
(audience boos and throws cans at BT and Mewtwo)  
  
BT: (sighs) Everybody's a critic.  
  
MEWTWO: (mumbles) Don't I know it.  
  
BT: Well...are we doing good anyway- I mean, despite the bouncing check?  
  
(check bounces across the stage again, Mew and Celebi close behind)  
  
MEWTWO: Yes. We're ready when you are. (walks offstage left)  
  
BT: Well, you heard the guy.............um, on with the show!  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
LUGIA: (waddles onstage right) Ok, dudes. Here goes the Christmas story.  
  
(curtains open to reveal the carboard cut-out town)  
  
LUGIA: (reads) Ahem- "Once upon a time, there was a guy named Joseph..."  
  
ENTEI: (walks onstage right, wearing some cloths) Um, hi.  
  
LUGIA: "...And a girl named Mary..."  
  
(no one comes onstage)  
  
LUGIA: (starts again) "...And a girl named Mary..." (no one comes) MARY!  
  
VOICE: (backstage) NO WAY! I'm not doing it!  
  
MEWTWO: (backstage) Don't worry about it. It's no big deal!  
  
VOICE: IT IS TO ME!  
  
MEWTWO: DON'T MAKE ME PSY-BLAST YOU!  
  
VOICE: .............Will it hurt?  
  
MEWTWO: (sighs in aggrivation) Just get out there!  
  
(Suicune is pushed onstage right. He is wearing beautiful cloths and too much make-up)  
  
LUGIA: (sighs in relief) "...And a girl named Mary..."  
  
SUICUNE: (high, girl-like voice) Hi.  
  
LUGIA: "...Now Joseph and Mary loved each other very much..."  
  
ENTEI AND SUICUNE: WHAT?!  
  
LUGIA: Just do it. It's what the book says.  
  
ENTEI AND SUICUNE: (growl, then giggle rediculously)  
  
LUGIA: (sticks his tongue out) Yuck!  
  
ENTEI AND SUICUNE: (growl more forcefully)  
  
LUGIA: Uh...um...oh...  
  
BT: (whispers) Close the curtains! Close the curtains!  
  
(curtains close sharply)  
  
LUGIA: (sighs) Okay, well... "One night, an angel appeared to Mary while she was sleeping."  
  
(curtains opens, with Suicune lying on the floor)  
  
SUICUNE: (growls) I hate this...  
  
VOICE: (from above) Mary... Mary... Mary...  
  
SUICUNE: (gets up) WHAT?!?  
  
(Mewtwo drops from the rafters above the stage. He's wearing a white robe with golden wings and a golden halo with a visable wire, with a rope tied around his midsection)  
  
MEWTWO: Ouch.  
  
SUICUNE: Well, what's the news?  
  
MEWTWO: News? What news?  
  
SUICUNE: You know, the Good News?  
  
MEWTWO: (thinks for a moment).................Oh, yeah...the GOOD NEWS... (gets out a scroll and opens it)... "I bring you good tidings of great joy"...boy, this script reeks...  
  
PIKACHU: (from audience) Don't I know it!  
  
BT: (from backstage) SHUT UP, YA LIDDLE YEELA RAT! (gasps)......Um, continue.....  
  
MEWTWO: (tosses the scroll) I'm ad-libbing. (looks at Suicune) Mary, you're going to have God's baby, and he wants joseph to be the foster father and he wants his Son to be called Emmanuel.  
  
SUICUNE: What's that mean?  
  
MEWTWO: "God with us".  
  
SUICUNE: No, seriously, what does it mean?  
  
MEWTWO: "God with us".  
  
SUICUNE: Hey, I'm not joking here!  
  
MEWTWO: And neither am I!  
  
SUICUNE: Then, what does it mean?!?  
  
MEWTWO: "God wi-" (sighs) Never mind. Just go back to sleep.  
  
SUICUNE: Okay.  
  
(curtains close)  
  
LUGIA: "...and the angel also appeared to Joseph..."  
  
ENTEI: (behind curtain) What's that mean?  
  
MEWTWO: "God with us".  
  
ENTEI: I'm serious-  
  
MEWTWO: (aggrivated) THE NAME MEANS "GOD WITH US", OKAY?!?!?  
  
ENTEI: Yeesh, what's got you mad?  
  
MEWTWO: Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!  
  
LUGIA: (stares blankly at the curtain) Um, BT? Do we need another Joseph?  
  
BT: (pauses for five seconds) .............Don't worry, Entei's okay!  
  
ENTEI: (weakly)... Just barely...  
  
LUGIA: Anyway... "At this time, there was a king named Herod..."  
  
(curtains open to reveal Ho-oh sitting on a throne, wearing the traditional Roman clothes)  
  
HO-OH: (sighs) This is the life.  
  
LUGIA: "When he found out that a new King was to be born soon, he wasn't too happy..."  
  
HO-OH: What?! I can't let this happen! I must search every city, starting in Jerusalem!  
  
(curtain closes)  
  
LUGIA: ..."Mary and Joseph knew that they couldn't stay, so they had to get out of Jerusalem and get to Bethlehem, Joseph's birthplace..."  
  
ENTEI: (runs across stage) Hurry, Mary! We've gotta get outta here!  
  
SUICUNE: (limps across stage) Hey, you try carrying God's kid and running at the same time.  
  
LUGIA: ..."But Herod wasn't all that far behind..."  
  
HO-OH: (pants as he walks across stage) When I find that newborn king, I'm gonna kill him...(coughs)... and get some cough drops while I'm at it...  
  
LUGIA: ..."Finally, Mary and Joseph reached Bethlehem..."  
  
ENTEI and SUICUNE: (appearing onstage) Yippee!  
  
LUGIA: ..."But all the hotels were full and had no vacancy..."  
  
ENTEI and SUICUNE: (angered) Oh, JOY.  
  
NURSE JOY: (from audience) Yes?  
  
BT: (from backstage) NOT YOU! It's just an expression!  
  
NURSE JOY: (blushes) Oh...sorry-  
  
BROCK: (from audience) Don't worry, Nurse Joy. I'm here for y-  
  
NURSE JOY: (slowly moves away from Brock) Do you need any help delivering the baby?  
  
ENTEI: Oh, what the heck? Get up here!  
  
(Nurse Joy joins Entei and Suicune onstage as they walk behind the curtains)  
  
LUGIA: Okay, well..."They went to the last hotel in Bethlehem..."  
  
(curtains open to reveal Entei, Suicune, and Nurse Joy standing before Mewtwo, behind a desk)  
  
ENTEI: Come on, man. My wife's gonna have a baby.  
  
MEWTWO: (as clerk) Well, you should have thought about that before, shouldn't you have?  
  
SUICUNE: It's God's baby...  
  
MEWTWO: (surprised) Well, in that case, we have a stable open-  
  
ENTEI and SUICUNE: A STABLE?!  
  
MEWTWO: It's our delivery room.  
  
ENTEI: Okay, that'll do.  
  
(curtains close)  
  
LUGIA: ..."As all of this was happening, the shepherds in the fields were about to be surprised..."  
  
(curtains open to reveal Raikou, Zapdos, and Moltres in shepherd's clothes, watching a herd of Mareep)  
  
RAIKOU: (tosses a stone in the air) I'm bored.  
  
ZAPDOS and MOLTRES: So am I. (look at each other) I said it first! No me! Stop! You stop! Raikou!  
  
RAIKOU: (sighs in boredom) I wish something exciting would happen.  
  
(a bright light shines from the rafters above the stage. Mewtwo, Mew, and Articuno are lowered from the rafters with visable ropes tied around their middles. They're all wearing angel clothes)  
  
MEWTWO: This is so cheesy.  
  
MEW: (giggles) I like it.  
  
MEWTWO: Shut up, Mew.  
  
ARTICUNO: Guys! Do the script!  
  
MEWTWO: Oh... I'm ad-libbing, so...um...uh... what's my line?  
  
MEW: (sighs in aggrivation) I'll do it! "I bring you wonderful news! Jesus, the Son of God, is born today in the city of David-"  
  
RAIKOU: David-town?  
  
MEW: No, Bethlehem.  
  
ZAPDOS: I knew that!  
  
MOLTRES: No you didn't! I did!  
  
(Zapdos and Moltres start fighting while Mew continues)  
  
MEW: ..."You'll find the newborn King in a manger in a stable."  
  
RAIKOU: Okay.............now what?  
  
MEW: GO SEE HIM!  
  
ZAPDOS and MOLTRES: All of us?!  
  
MEW: Yes, all of you! Now get out of here and go see the Son of God!  
  
(Raikou, Zapdos, and Moltres run offstage)  
  
MEWTWO: Nice job. I give it nine out of ten-  
  
MEW: Really?  
  
MEWTWO: (smirks) -thousand.  
  
MEW: (takes out a pair of scissors) Want to be a fallen angel?  
  
(curtains close and open again to reveal Entei standing next to Suicune, holding a newborn...)  
  
CELEBI: (wearing a bonnet and sucking on a pacifier) Goo goo. Ga ga. (sighs) I need more lines.  
  
ENTEI: (squints) Yeah... looks just like you...  
  
SUICUNE: Plaese don't tell me that's your honest opinion.  
  
CELEBI: Goo goo.  
  
SUICUNE: He does look kinda cute.  
  
(Railkou, Zapdos, and Moltres run in)  
  
RAIKOU: Hey, there's that newborn King the angels were talking about.  
  
ZAPDOS: He's soo cute!  
  
MOLTRES: I think he's cuter than you think he is!  
  
ZAPDOS: Shut up!  
  
MOLTRES: You shut up!  
  
(Mewtwo walks in, the rope trailing behind him cut)  
  
MEWTWO: Mary, Joseph, you have to get out of here!  
  
ENTEI: Why? (notices that Mewtwo is walking, not hanging) I thought angels were supposed to fly.  
  
MEWTWO: (holds up the cut rope) Mew's responsible. Anyway, Herod's on his way to kill baby Jesus! You need to get out of here!  
  
ENTEI: (gets up) Looks like we're on the road again, Mary.  
  
SUICUNE: Looks like these feet are going on athlete's.  
  
(curtain closes)  
  
LUGIA: ..."They fled to Egypt, where Herod couldn't find them..."  
  
HO-OH: (walks onstage and stops) Oh, I give up! It was probably a stupid tabloid anyway. (walks offstage)  
  
LUGIA: ..."When Herod gave up the search, Mary and Joseph returned to Bethlehem. Two years later, on the eve of his birthday..."  
  
(curtains open to reveal Suicune with Celebi. a knock comes to the door)  
  
SUICUNE: Joseph, can you get that?  
  
ENTEI: (from backstage) Sure. (walks onstage and opens the door. Mewtwo, Lugia, and Ho-oh walk onstage, wearing royal robes) Wow! Mary, come quick! Wise men!  
  
MEWTWO: We came to see the baby Jesus, the Son of God.  
  
SUICUNE: Yes, what do you want?  
  
LUGIA: We came to give him gifts- Gold, Frankensence, and Mhir.  
  
HO-OH: (lays the gifts before Celebi) We hope you enjoy them.  
  
CELEBI: Oh, I will!  
  
(curtain closes)  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
BT: (walks onstage) Well, that's the Christmas story.  
  
(awkward silence, then a few claps, which grows into applause)  
  
BT: (weeps) Oh, you like me! YOU REALLY LIKE ME!  
  
ASH: (walks onstage) Well, cosidering what you had to work with, that wasn't too bad, BT.  
  
BT: (hugs Ash) Oh, thank you!  
  
ASH: Please, BT, let go before Misty sees.  
  
BT: (lets go and shakes his hand) DONE!  
  
MEWTWO: (walks onstage) Yes, dispite the "God with us" amd "fallen angel" sequences, it was quite and enjoyable play. There's only one problem not dealt with.  
  
BT: What's that?  
  
MEWTWO: The bouncing check.  
  
(check bounces across stage, but Mew and Celebi pounce on it just in time)  
  
MEW and CELEBI: GOT IT!  
  
(Ash, BT, and Mewtwo just shake their heads in disbelief)  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Well, did you like it? Please R&R! MESA LIKIES REVIEWS! :) Tell me if you want me to do anymore. Any play at all! I don't mind! Thankies 4 reading!  
  
BRILLIANT THINKER ;) 


End file.
